So close! 

I VERY nearly sacked it off today. I was lying in bed and my 4am wrist alarm buzzed on my cheek because of how I was smashed and for the merest of moments I could not be arsed. But then my 4.05 phone alarm went off and I reminded myself that I would only be pissed off and have 4lbs that I can’t for the life of me shift! 

I am in possession of the milk! It tastes absolutely amazing, although I have continued to read about the risk factors of raw milk and I am considering pasturising it myself. There is basically no evidence to show that there is a nutritional difference between Pasteurised and raw milk and there is tonnes of evidence showing the harm that the pathogens that raw could potentially carry. I am definitely not going to be feeding it to Leo. The whole reason I embarked on this quest wasn’t for my health, it was because I decided I couldn’t be a part of the harsh, commercial dairy industry, but no matter how much people won’t like this, Leo is more important to me than any cow, so why would I risk his life if there is no need? 

The problem with us all in this day and age is thy we haven’t seen the affects of bad hygiene and regular deaths because of poor quality food. We take it for granted that everything is safe, so feel that none of it is necessary. Basically not the case. I am happy to pasturise the raw milk at home for us because I definitely do not want to be part of the industry if I can help it, but why oh why I can’t find a kind dairy that pasturise their product is beyond me. 

I am feeling stronger again, my pull up quest is definitely doing well. I am struggling a little with a pain just above the articulated part of my arm, so haven’t done anything for a week with it, and that has helped overall. I am struggling with my sternum when I  do dips, I always struggled with this before and I just have to come up with different tricep exercises. I think it’s tension somewhere else in my upper body, so I have been stretching it out and that feels good. 

Flexibility in general is improving which is always a good thing. I’m struggling with motivation at the minute though, this is the time I have to dig deep and keep pushing. I adopt the don’t think about it strategy and then there is no debate! It’s amazing what a weekend of slight overindulgence does to me! 

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Weakness 

I’ve been really struggling with weakness this last 5 days or so. Things I was managing the previous week are way out of reach this week. I think I have been fighting the latest illness but haven’t really felt that rough.. No idea what is going on. 

I’m still taking my vitamins, I’m potentially a little low on my protein intake, but nothing horrific I didn’t think. I don’t feel exhausted or weak when I’m not working out, it’s just when I attempt something that requires strength, I’m basically pathetic. I had a few cheeky ports this weekend, that is not going to have helped! 

All I can do is plod on and I will come out the other side 

The minority 

It’s a funny place to be, when you are surrounded by supposedly intelligent and well thought out people who randomly go off on a tangent when you inadvertently question one of their life choices. I say inadvertently because it’s when you make a life choice that they themselves aren’t comfortable with, they seem to think that’s its OK to turn into a dick about it and attack your stance with what is basically bullying tactics. 

I am talking about the whole ethical eating thing, so many people suddenly decide that you are an idiot and one of the girls I know who is embracing it, had even been told she is selfish and is just easing her own guilt. What can she just do by herself as one person doesn’t a difference make. Wow. 

I am so glad that there are individuals in the world that fought against the tide throughout history and continue to do so. The world we live in would be a cruel and dark place right now if they hadn’t and their fight wasn’t over simply spending a bit more money and feeling good about the origins of their food. 

Being responsible 

I am cross posting this from my other blog as I feel it is relevant to both contents. 

The quest regarding the ethical consumption of animal products continues.  Just reading about it all was sending me under and I had decided to just bite the bullet and go vegan, but then one of the girls that works with me, who is also doing the same thing, pointed out the necessity of calcium consumption. We do have a history of osteoporosis in the family too! 

I can’t believe, after all the reading and so called awareness of nutrition, that something as obvious as that didn’t cross my mind! I just thought of the obvious leafy greens then, but of course I had no idea how much I would need to be consuming; so remiss. 

And then of course, the question of all other nutrients. The biggest being B12, this little powerhouse is not to be ignored.. Or under consumed! So, it’s back to the ethical quest. 

Jess had found a dairy that doesn’t force mass production of milk and stress out their herd, which was great, but we were still breaking our hearts about the calves (they did start this entire dilemma!) so it was just still only a last resort.. And then, I found this beauty: The calf at foot dairy! AMAZING! The calves stay with their mummies.  It’s a little bit pricey,  but for no compromise on what I deem ethical, it’s a price worth paying whilst we are in a position to do so. 

My issue does still lie with Leo having formula. I’ve always been uncomfortable with it, (especially after reading it has palm oil in it)  but when we gave him milk, he had terrible diarrhea. He may be different now, but the ‘problem’ with this dairy is that it is raw milk and I’ve read scary stories about listeria and other nasties in raw milk. Apparently, now cows are clean and cared for and the equipment is too, this isn’t an issue, but I do need to understand it a little better before I risk his health. He is more important than any of the process. Raw milk is meant to be just outstanding for overall health though, so I will be giving it serious consideration. 

Eggs.. This is a tricky one, finding somewhere that gives their hens an amazing life is really, really simple. For me, it is the step before that. Where do they source their chicks from? Is it somewhere that mass produces and gasses the male chicks? The obvious place to look is at the heritage breed handlers. I have contacted Clarence Court, as they really do appear to give a shit, they are even really aware of the environmental affect of packaging products and have information on how theg handle that, no mention of source though. We shall see. 

Pork: I have contacted a place that looks great as far as the pigs life, but I have enquired about where they get their babies from and then I will find out how they handle them, especially from a castration perspective. 

We have the power to be responsible. It may be hard work and it may be a little bit more costly, but it makes me feel good in ways beyond the gratification of consuming the end product.  

N.B. One thing I have also found on this journey, is that so many vegan products contain palm oil and it isn’t necessarily responsibly sourced.(although, ethical sources are also questionable)  How does this work? We love our cows, pigs, hens etc, but the orangutans and the oxygen of the world can just swivel? I hope vegans of the world are aware, or they are a joke to me.. More so than the blinkered, die hard carnivores.

Alpha-1 Antitrypsin deficiency 

I’ve known this has been an hereditary  condition in the family on my paternal side for many years, but as with BRCA-1 it is something I chose to ignore. I was tested for BRCA-1 before we decide to have Leo, and thankfully, I wasn’t positive. 

I hadn’t really paid a thought to Alpha-1 for some time, my dad has never been tested, but both of his sisters had it and one was very poorly with it. It wasn’t what killed either sister in the end though. 

I had been struggling to shift being ill for months, so went to the docs a few weeks ago and just mentioned Alpha-1, so he tested me for it. I have it. 

The variation that I have is Pi MZ, a homozygous mutation,  which means I have a normal alliel and a faulty one. Being a carrier means it is fairly uncommon to suffer any clinical symptoms, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t possible. They have called me back in for more tests though as my serum levels for antitrypsin are lower than they would like, the lower the level, the more at risk. I have a lung function test in a couple of weeks and they are referring me to a specialist unit for more guidance. 

I have lots of things to understand, (including the potential  impact on Leo) and but the lifestyle I currently lead is hitting all the bases for the best possible outcome if I am affected or to be affected. It is what it is, I need all the facts so I know what I am dealing with and then I can do the best I can to help my body be well. 

It’s beginning 

Whilst the change in weight isn’t anything to write home about from when I began, I dingo up before I came down! It’s a start regardlessof 2lb down, roughly 1lb of that being fat which is obviously the best news! 

I feel infinitely better too, which is also important. I have managed a couple of 4am starts to fit the cardio in and have loved them. Early morning gym sessions are definitely my preference if I can fit them in. I feel my strength coming back too, so the tone will be returning.. Wooo 

I treated myself to some bands to work on my pull ups. I hadn’t thought about the fact that I needed to get up to the band to start off with so had to do some creative climbing! It felt good though, that is the most resistant one and I managed 3 sets of 5, the last 5 being questionable! It just felt good to have a session where I could feel my muscles shaking in a dark corner afterwards, that has been some time and it has been missed! 

I got myself out of bed at 5 this morning to get a workout in before starting the day with my favourite boys. I’m pleased with how quickly I have got my motivation back this year, it’s just what I needed.