This is something I have struggled with since returning to work: the motivation to get back to eating well and exercising well. Someone reached out to me recently and asked me how to motivate themselves, so it got me thinking about it.
Motivation isn’t something you can force, in fact it’s the exact opposite, you have to look in many places until you find it’s glimmer: then you have to gently nurture it like the embers of a fire.
My biggest hindrance this time around is knowing how motivated I was and how well behaved I was as far as diet and fitness were concerned. The mistake I made was assuming I would easily get back to where I was and be motivated in the same way.
I am a completely different person now: mentally and physically. The motivation I had pre baby, didn’t come on like a light switch, it grew. I never assumed it should be there and this is what I am doing now. I’m trying to immediately emulate what I had before and that’s just wrong for me. I need to reset and accept this is a new journey, work for the quick wins and nurture that ember. Before I know it, the fire will be back, it already feels much stronger just from that simple change of mindset.
I am on the final stretch of my notice period, only two days left to go. Whilst I am really looking forward to the new adventure ahead, I am a creature of habit and the prospect of a routine change fills me with dread. Whilst the journey in is no different as I am just around the corner from where I am now, the logistics of gym time are a pain in my ass.
It is just a bit too far away to get to the gym I currently go to now, it would take me 13 minutes, at least, each way: precious gym time being eaten away there and there are huge roadworks going on whilst they put the new tram lines in, so that will be an even bigger pain in the ass. There are three other options: A different branch of the gym I am at (but the parking situation is shit, the local leisure Centre, but it will cost me £10 extra a month as well as not having the luxury of being able to use the gym at home as well as getting a early session in on a Wednesday morning, or a local meat head gym that is really close but wont have any of the equipment I am currently using for rehab.. I could improvise, but I would look like a total tit!
On top of the 3rd world problems listed above, I am finishing an hour later every night so have the added stress of being later to pick up the little man as well as relying on a less than useful afternoon tea from nursery. Leo will be starting at Forest School a couple of days a week as of August (something else for Mummy to be worried about) and the food there is considerably better, but it is considerably further from work for me to get to pick him up.
The timing is basically shit and I am having to fight all of my control freak, perfectionist tendencies to stop myself from having a meltdown! I keep just telling myself to go with it, I will adapt, Leo will adapt and I will find a way. I think it is made worse by the fact that I just want a routine back. I want to feel like I am progressing with my fitness instead of it being groundhog day and I still have 8lbs that I want to shift as well as having muscle I want to get back and strength I just crave to see again. Currently, I am as weak as a kitten and my will power sucks. Every time I do more than 2 press ups, I suffer the agony of pissed off tendons for the next two days.
I just have to keep telling myself that I will get there and I will find my long forgotten routine and fitness once again, just in time for baby number two and losing it all over again! That bit however, is worth every second of this bit.
I went to physio on Tuesday evening, to see what he would make of my sore heels and the ITB pain I have been experiencing. Basically, my ham strings and calves have turned to steel and my lack of core, glute and quad strength just means that my hams are ruling the world, and doing it badly!
He used the modern day torture device that be has (mobilisation table) and really loosened me off and also acupunctured my Achilles on both sides. I now can’t walk!
Either way, I have to stop doing anything other than core, quad and glute strengthening and stretching off of everything around there also. I feel I have an expensive few weeks of visits ahead but on the plus side, I might find the focus I have been searching for since coming back into it!
and I imagine it is the yoga. Whilst I am struggling to manage the progress through the additional discomfort, I am finding a way none the less. At the gym today, I thought I would finish with a stretch that never fails to progress. I have done this stretch since I started in the gym as it really helped to ease off the knee pain that I experience when I am tight through my pelvis and hips.
As the only thing that I have been doing differently is yoga, then the conclusion is that it is yoga that is helping. Clearly the pain is achieving something, although I do need to work out how to reduce the fatigue I am putting on my tendons as the last thing I need is RSI. When I was working out this morning, I just avoided pushing down through my heels and I also kept a bend in my knee. This stopped any feeling of strain and nerve pain that I was experiencing before.
I moved up to the next beginner level and it was incredibly tough, I wont do another session now until Thursday morning. Tomorrow morning I am going to do some abs work as I haven’t done that for a long time!
It was actually far less harsh than this picture makes it look, along with a couple of fake candles that are actually pretty realistic and my morning yoga room was ready to go.
I’m really enjoying my yoga, the app is fantastic and it’s really inspiring me to get on and do it whenever I have chance. I am ridiculously limited through my hamstrings, I need to look into how to adapt certain moves to compensate. I’m not sure whether it is better to bend my knees and have my hands flat on the floor or legs straight and be nowhere near the floor. Both options make me feel like I am over stretching my hams and I can feel the sciatic nerve irritation; which is obviously not a good thing.
This is definitely the route I want to progress, I also want to keep doing my lunch time sessions in the gym to balance it all out and walk a couple of times a week too.
I feel shattered at the minute, not sure why as I’m no worse off for sleep than normal and no more stressed at work but I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus! Will give it a couple of weeks and then consider getting myself checked out. There needs to be more hours in the day!
Whilst the change in weight isn’t anything to write home about from when I began, I dingo up before I came down! It’s a start regardlessof 2lb down, roughly 1lb of that being fat which is obviously the best news!
I feel infinitely better too, which is also important. I have managed a couple of 4am starts to fit the cardio in and have loved them. Early morning gym sessions are definitely my preference if I can fit them in. I feel my strength coming back too, so the tone will be returning.. Wooo
I treated myself to some bands to work on my pull ups. I hadn’t thought about the fact that I needed to get up to the band to start off with so had to do some creative climbing! It felt good though, that is the most resistant one and I managed 3 sets of 5, the last 5 being questionable! It just felt good to have a session where I could feel my muscles shaking in a dark corner afterwards, that has been some time and it has been missed!
I got myself out of bed at 5 this morning to get a workout in before starting the day with my favourite boys. I’m pleased with how quickly I have got my motivation back this year, it’s just what I needed.